As a single person, there are times when finding someone to talk to about the feeling of loneliness is hard. Family members may repeat the simplistic advice to “stay positive or faithful and things will naturally take a turn”… and friends, well, they may even avoid listening to your sad mumbling since they have their own baggage to deal with.

I’ve noticed a trend that pushes people (especially women) to have a “chin up” mentality or to dismiss the hurt that Christian singles can feel in their loneliness, which I think makes the situation far worse for us. Now not only do we have fewer channels of communicating openly, but we are also pressured to put on a happy face and tough attitude to the outside world.

While waiting for changes to happen, I went through my share of mistakes such as emotional ups and downs, the typical “sport dating” for the sake of not feeling lonely, and so on, realizing that not only that doesn’t work, but it also brings more frustration and a whole lot of wasted time that can not ever be recovered.

The common mistake I see over and over is that most of us confuse the word waiting with inaction! 

Let me start by stating this:  waiting is a verb… a call for action! Especially if you are a believer… it sounds contradictory but let me explain.

If you are waiting for a partner, because you’d like to have a happy relationship, you must learn and know at the core your intrinsic value as a person; the reasons why you want a partner; and master emotional control (which can take years of personal growth).

If you are waiting for a business opportunity or aiming for professional success, you must detect what skills you possess that are valuable to the world and how to increase your chances of making your dream happen?

Does that sound like a static season to you?  … No!

Waiting is about internally growing, expanding, increasing… and that does not happen with inaction.

So, back to the real question… how to manage not to feel lonely during this period of waiting?

And before I answer that, let me tell you a little about myself. I was not born in the U.S. and my entire family lives in a different country; I am a single mom that shares 50% of custody, and I work independently for myself. Even though I am a social person by nature, I am by myself 80% of the time, maybe even more with our dear pandemic, and it is very rare that I feel lonely.

Funny thing is that 8 years ago when I was still living in my home country, I was a part of a very happy relationship, I was surrounded by lifetime friends, a lovely family and I had a good job, but in moments of stillness, I would get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness…

What I found out is that we experience loneliness when we feel that we are not being seen — when we “feel” unimportant and we start relying on others or outside circumstances to make us happy.

What is the remedy to this? Can you guess? By going through the active process of waiting! By growing and making yourself valuable to others, through sharpening your skills and teaching others how to do so; through talking about your mistakes and experiences and helping others to overcome struggles; by practicing open-handed giving; by surrendering to your creator and as a proof of your love to Him, loving others and yourself INSANELY well.

Because my friends, this so-called waiting period is your everyday life, and God has given us this one life to do the most for yourself and for everyone around you. He is the only one who will be with you every step of the way — always and until the end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

May God inspire you to take action in your waiting for all good things!
Marina

Marina Da Re
MBA Anderson University
Business Owner.