frequently with no cash and with loads of debt to my name, I was feeling so defeated. I was sick. I was living with my parents. I was 31. And I couldn’t provide for myself. This was my breaking point, and the beginning of finding my identity in Christ apart from independence and income.
Photo by John Towner
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:12-13
Anxious about many things
I had five dollars in my bank account and zero credit because I’d put myself into $24,000 of credit card debt with a failed business venture. I needed to get to my best friend’s wedding in Cincinnati two days from now, and I was waiting on payment for some contract work I was doing on a website. My parents were coming out of their own financial crisis and it was out of the question for me to ask for the $100 I needed to buy a new dress and for gas to Cincinnati. I was hanging out on a limb, in a prisoner’s dilemma of cash flows and circumstances, and I had no idea how I was going to make it to the wedding. At this moment, I had a choice. I could spend my energy worrying and in self-pity, or I could choose to trust God.
It might sound trivial, but frequently with no cash and with loads of debt to my name, I was feeling so defeated. I was sick. I was living with my parents. I was 31. And I couldn’t provide for myself. This was my breaking point, and the beginning of finding my identity in Christ apart from independence and income.
I was unsure how God was going to provide, but I had to believe that He would just as He always did. Taking a few breaths, I stepped outside into the sunshine and got still. Just still in the sunshine with the King. I closed my eyes and looked towards heaven and stepped into this peace so golden that I knew — a deep-down in my soul knowing — that I was worthy and complete despite the storm of circumstances swirling around me and my own perceived inadequacy. The peace was so tangible I felt that God required nothing more of me in this moment than to just be, just as in Luke 10:38-42, to sit with him like Mary sat his feet.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
And so I sat with Jesus and felt his peace. My client delivered the check to me later that day.
Hanging-on-the-impossible-edge moments like these used to stress me out so much. I have been anxious and troubled about so many things. But I believe God took me through these messy circumstances and challenges over and over to show me that He is good; He is sovereign; and He alone provides. He is the good portion.
Peace in every circumstance
We all have our stories of anguish and souls rended before the Lord, bare hearts and limp hands just barely grasping at the edge of His cloak. If we could really know and believe in the power of the Lord to heal and to provide, we wouldn’t ever be anxious again.
We’re taught in life to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps and to deliberate over every agonizing detail until we’re exhausted trying to keep up and we never get ahead. Yet the peace from simply touching the presence of God is accessible to all of us in every moment. Peace is not just a fleeting feeling: it is a way of life.
Friends, God knows the priorities. He knows the sequence. He knows what’s urgent and what doesn’t matter as much. He is a master planner and organizer. Will we trust Him to order our days perfectly?
So many of us miss out on the peace that God calls us to right now because we are spent running down deadlines and sequencing a waterfall of tasks without any help from the King. The beautiful truth is that we don’t have to go it alone, and that the best response in times of overwhelm and exhaustion is…. to sit. We sit like Mary at His feet. We choose the good portion.
The abundant life in Jesus is rest and peace at his feet, touching Heaven and being filled yet again with his love over and over. In Jesus, we can find peace in every moment, right in the storm of circumstances. God is in control.
Just as in Mark 4:35-41, Jesus calms the storm.
On that day, when evening had come, he said to [the disciples], “Let us go across to the other side.” And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But [Jesus] was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
You are probably braving some storms of your own right now. Or as a therapist once told me, “We’re all in crisis, coming out of a crisis or moving towards crisis.” At some point or another we’re going to find ourselves struggling, and God calls us to perfect peace in the storm. Here are a few steps to enter into the peace of God’s presence:
1. Find a quiet space and get still. Give God any worries and concerns on your heart. Release the anxiety: You have to turn it over to Him to feel His peace (Matt. 6:25).
2. Receive God’s love. Meditate on God’s unfailing love for you. In your spirit, know with all of your being that He is a good God, and He has nothing but good gifts for you. He promises to see you through every storm. Be grateful for His love and feel His love because perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).
3. Trust God and step into his peace. While the sea may be swirling wild around you, you can be anchored to Jesus in the storm. Just as Jesus calmed the storm with one breath, God quiets the storm and invites us to radical trust (Mark 4:35-41).
4. Walk on water. We can step out onto the water like Peter. Do the impossible thing. Trust that God will not let you fall. Believe it with all your might. It’s a faith walk, but if you can trust that the sea will not overtake you, you will find peace in any circumstance because your faith in God’s goodness and provision will not be shaken (Matt. 14:22-33).
Dear God,
Many of us have weary souls that have been beaten by the storms, trials and crises of life. We’re overwhelmed. Just as Jesus spoke to the sea, Lord, speak to our spirits, “Peace! Be still!” Help us to walk daily in your peace Lord and to know you are sovereign and you have attended to even the smallest details of our lives. Help us to know we have nothing to fear. You have already provided. You are the good portion.
In Jesus name,
Amen
Verses for study:
Matthew 6:25
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
Matthew 14:22-33
Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”
And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”