three strands, Author at three strands collective

How to thrive through depression

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | depression, healing, mental health, thriving

Depression is an illness, and no matter how it manifests in your life, feeling apathetic and being unable to find joy in everyday circumstances doesn’t have to be your reality. And I say this delicately — it is not the norm. You are made to feel alive and free, not hollow and swallowed by darkness. If you feel consumed by life, like you can’t wake up from this nightmare, friends, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Photo by Markus Spiske

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.
– Christine Caine

Growing good things

It doesn’t matter what season of life we find ourselves in, the years we live are for growing. We may be growing a business or a family. Perhaps we’re taking care of elderly parents or sick relatives. We show up for our communities and workplaces. We launch a nonprofit project, fund-raise or invest in relationships with those closest to us. We plant seeds, trusting that our love and care will return a harvest.

Our lives are meant to be purpose-filled and fulfilling, but let’s talk about how this is not the reality for so many people in the world. Depression steals lives. It’s demoralizing, demotivating and destructive to our core identities. It’s an obstacle to becoming our best selves and it threatens our capacity to be in community and to find joy in living.

I know because I’ve been there. I’ve been there with every dish I own dirty on the countertops, dishes consuming every inch of counter space. I’ve been there with laundry piled high into little sorted mountains on the kitchen floor for days at a time while those dirty dishes hung. I’ve been there with the dust and the cat hair (incidentally my two biggest allergens) draping the back room I didn’t have the time or the energy to unpack and clean — for 3 years.

If you’ve known me for a while, you know that I’ve wrestled with depression and a flight of mental illnesses that have added friction to my every day life for years. I have been on and off of medications. I have had seasons where depression goes into remission for a few years and comes back later in full force. I know what it is to feel despair and grief so deep in my spirit that I cannot name it with words.

Depression is an illness, and no matter how it manifests in your life, feeling apathetic and being unable to find joy in everyday circumstances doesn’t have to be your reality. And I say this delicately — it is not the norm. You are made to feel alive and free, not hollow and swallowed by darkness. If you feel consumed by life, like you can’t wake up from this nightmare, friends, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your birthright is total wholeness, total restoration, and complete healing in the power of Jesus Christ (John 10:10) — and possibly some medication.

God is all-powerful and as the creator of life, he is big enough to heal my depression. Yet it seems that the depression that adds so much extra friction and fatigue to my life is also a part of my identity: Just as for so many people with depression, it is corollary to a fierce creativity that I am gifted with. So, after praying 1,000 times and asking God to heal my mental illnesses, I trust that he has a plan in this, too.

God does not always choose to heal, and sometimes, he uses medicine instead.

With the right mix of medications and an expert psychiatrist, persistence, courage and faith, you can beat depression and get back to thriving.

I think what many people don’t understand about depression is that it is both a mental and a physical impairment and the fact that we even make a distinction between the two is complicated. The brain is a part of our physical anatomy despite its abundant complexity. Mental illnesses require different treatments than physical injuries, but that doesn’t make them any less real. You didn’t cause your accident that broke a bone anymore than someone else caused mental illness. Are there compounding factors? Sure. But people don’t judge you for getting a broken bone.

Unfortunately and all too often, there is such a stigma around mental illness that it can take a tremendous amount of courage to speak up and to get help. Some people who haven’t experienced depression can wrongly deem that you are well because you look normal, happy, and healthy. They might assume you are faking it, or that your willpower is weaker than theirs because you can’t pull it together. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Depression is an invisible illness — the illness is treatable, it just so happens that most people can only see the tip of the iceberg unless they’ve been under the water with us.

Some ways to heal

Here’s the hard part. Too many people in the world don’t have access to the right or even adequate healthcare, and I want to stress so much that your mental health is worth everything. It is not cheap to get help, and the best psychiatrists are often out of network, but treatment is worth every cent you pay.

The sicker you are the more money you have to pay to get well, and it shouldn’t be that way. We won’t get into how unfair that is today. But since this is the system we are in, it’s so important to be proactive and to take charge of our health. In that spirit, here are a few things that have helped me to prioritize my mental health and to thrive through depression.

Read the Bible —

– It is physiologically impossible to be fearful at the same you are thankful, and a daily discipline of reading the Bible, a simple devotion or a few minutes writing in a gratitude journal can be powerful enough to shift the tone of each day

– We are spiritual beings, and tending to what our spirits and intuitions tell us is a huge part of healing

– Reading the Bible can help you to know God and his character, and when the days are dark and lonely, he is the rock you can stand on. He will never leave you or forsake you, and nothing can separate you from the love of God (Romans 8:28, 38-39)

Pray and center yourself in a global context — I’m not suggesting you minimize your mental illness in any way, but focusing on the blessings you have including running water, food to eat, and a roof over your head can help you to feel more connected to the world and to being the change you want to see in the world. Define what good you’d like to grow and which things you would like to stop* and find inspiration in doing the work of change-making

Cultivate everything friendships — Invest time in everything friendships. Define the 4 qualities you value most in a friend. Look at each friendship to see where your relationship with them intersects in those 4 spheres, then invest more time into cultivating the everything friendships right in the center. These are your people and the friends who challenge you to grow and fill you up; spending time with them is fluid and refreshing rather than energy-draining

Prioritize treatment — Keep going to appointments until you find the psychiatrist you feel comfortable with who will collaborate with you on a treatment plan. Do research, read books, get informed. Review your budget and ask God for help making room in your cash flows for the cost of care. It will not be cheap, but it is possible to eat out less, to buy fewer things, to make fewer trips to Target and Starbucks, and to negotiate lower monthly credit card payments. You can ever defer your student loan payments under a medical deferment which will allow you to shift that cash flow towards treatment

It’s hard enough to accept our mental illnesses in the first place, let alone to find affordable care. That needs to change in this country, but until then, if you have to buy fewer groceries and eke out cash from other places in your budget, do it. Please know that I have been there and I understand how hard it is to pay for care. I struggle with you and beside you. I write these words as someone who simply would not be okay without medication, and I may be in this battle for a lifetime, but I can confidently say I am happy and thriving, and you can thrive, too.

As his unique creation, you matter so much to God and your mental health matters to Him greatly, too (Psalm 139:11-16): even if it feels like God is remote and distant, he is with you in this trial and he wants you to be well and thriving (1 Pet. 1:6-9).

Let’s be bold and brave friends. The more we speak up and share about our own experiences, the more we shift the stigma that mental illness is mental weakness and reframe it as a treatable medical condition. Above all, be strong and courageous and don’t give up hope, because God is surely with you (Deut. 31:6).

Dear God, Many of us struggle with depression and we wonder why you choose not to heal when you can heal. Help us to see and to accept our unique identities as your perfectly and wonderfully made sons and daughters and to be vigilant in seeking help when it seems that the very system of healthcare is rigged against us as we struggle with resources to care for our mental health. Give us the courage to seek support and the determination to find a way through this tunnel towards your light. Help us to see that you allow no struggle without growth, and that even in the darkness of depression, you never leave us or forsake us.
Amen.

*The two questions, What good am I meant to grow? and What good am I meant to stop? are from Dan Allender’s book To Be Told

Verses for study:
John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:38-39
I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 139:11-16
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

1 Peter 1:6-9
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Spiritual warfare, visions, and the prophetic (part 2)

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | faith, holy spirit, prophecy, supernatural

While many prophecies remain mysterious and unveiled until future times, including the prophetic vision of Revelation, what we can learn from scripture is that God is speaking. He speaks through seers and prophets, and he speaks to us through visions and dreams.

Photo by Jr Korpa

Formerly in Israel, when a man went to inquire of God, he used to say, “Come, and let us go to the seer”; for he who is called a prophet now was formerly called a seer.
1 Samuel 9:9

Now the acts of King David, from first to last, are written in the chronicles of Samuel the seer, in the chronicles of Nathan the prophet and in the chronicles of Gad the seer,

1 Chronicles 29:29

Visions

In the Spirit there is one body and many parts. So also in the Spirit there is one body with many spiritual gifts. The gift of visions is one way that God speaks to men, and if you’ve ever had a very vivid dream full of imagery and colors that you just can’t seem to forget, then you may have the gift of prophecy.

We see numerous examples in scripture of times wherein God speaks through visions and dreams (Numbers 12:6). These stories show a God who is eager to communicate with his people, Israel, through seers (say: see-ers) and prophets.

The definition of a seer is a person who prophesies future events; a person endowed with profound moral and spiritual insight or knowledge; or a wise person or sage who possesses intuitive powers. The Bible establishes a very real spiritual basis for seers: They are especially important in the Old Testament and hold advisory positions to kings.

Similarly, in a Biblical context, the definition of a prophet is a person who predicts or foretells what is to come; a person who speaks to God; or a person chosen to speak for God and to guide the people of Israel.

The Office of the Prophet is a higher post than a seer, but both predict future events and possess insight and knowledge that is revealed by God in visions or dreams or by words of Knowledge from God himself.

We know prophets are important, because the Major Prophets including Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Lamentations and Daniel are their own books of the Bible, and each book prophesies the coming of Christ or future events including the end of days.

While many prophecies remain mysterious and unveiled until future times, including the prophetic vision of Revelation, what we can learn from scripture is that God is speaking. He speaks through seers and prophets, and he speaks to us through visions and dreams.

Here are just a few examples of visions in the Bible that show we can hear about future events or even receive direction from God through dreams and visions.

Joseph — The dreams and dream interpretations of a seer

Genesis chapters 37, 39-46

Joseph is the youngest of the 12 sons of Jacob (Israel) and Jacob’s favorite son. Joseph’s father gives him a brightly colored coat that makes his brothers jealous of him. Joseph has two visions that further enrage his brothers.

+ Joseph dreams that he and his brothers were binding sheaves together in a field, and Joseph’s sheaf rose and stood upright while the others bowed to his sheaf

+ Joseph dreams that the sun, moon and eleven stars were bowing down to him (symbolic of Joseph’s family)

Joseph’s dreams anger his brothers and his father, Jacob. One day, Joseph’s brothers conspire to kill him, but instead they throw him into a well without water, and he is sold to the Midianites who then sell him to Potiphar, the captain of the guard of Pharaoh.

Years later, at age 30, after becoming estranged from his family and father who had forsaken him as dead, Joseph is called before Pharaoh to interpret two visions.

+ Seven healthy cows come up from the Nile followed by seven lean and ugly cows that eat the seven healthy cows

+ Seven healthy ears of corn grow on one stalk followed by seven withered, blighted and thin ears of corn, and the thin ears swallow up the seven good ears

Joseph interprets the dreams as one in the same and reveals the dreams’ meaning that there will be seven years of abundance and seven years of famine in Egypt. In response to the interpretation, Joseph is appointed to the highest post under Pharaoh and charged with conserving enough food in the years of abundance to support all of the land during the seven years of famine.

When the seven years of famine strike, Jacob sends his sons (except Benjamin) to Egypt to buy grain, and Joseph recognizes them. The family is ultimately reunited and comes to live with Joseph in Egypt.

What we can learn from this story is that dreams can be deeply prophetic, and we can know that they are prophetic by observing their imagery and whether they come true in the future. In the case of Joseph, his brothers did bow down to him, and the famine did happen. Both sets of dreams gave insight to prepare for the future. The first dreams to encourage Joseph God had a plan for his life and Pharaoh’s dreams to assure Egypt’s safety during seven years of famine.

Nathan — A prophetic admonishment to King David

2 Samuel chapter 12

Nathan, a prophet and advisor to king David, is sent by God to convict king David of the sin he committed when he took Uriah’s wife as his own and sent Uriah to his death in battle. Nathan also delivers prophetic words about the curse of the sword that will be on David’s house because of his sin.

Nathan tells a story where a man with great riches and many sheep of his own lives in the same town as a poor man. The poor man has one sheep who is so dear to him that it sleeps with him and dines with him at the dinner table. A traveler comes to visit the rich man, and instead of killing a sheep from his own flock, the rich man demands that the sheep who is so precious to the poor man shall be killed for his guest. The story is cruel, and David pronounces that the rich man should pay four times for the sin he committed. Then, Nathan delivers God’s message that king David is that man who killed the pet sheep, when he took Uriah’s wife and killed Uriah, and that David’s firstborn son with Bathsheba will die.

God redeems David through his son Solomon born later to him by Bathsheba, but in the future, king David’s sons steal his kingship and his wives and David flees his own city as he fears for his life — all as prophesied before by Nathan who was sent to deliver God’s message.

Daniel — Prophetic vision interpretation

Daniel chapter 2

God gives Daniel the gift of interpreting dreams. King Nebuchadnezzar is troubled by the dreams he is having and summons all the magicians, enchanters, sorcerers and Chaldeans to interpret a dream that is particularly troubling: When no one is able to interpret it, the king sentences all of the wise men in his kingdom to death, but Daniel hears about the dream and asks to give its interpretation in faith that God will give wisdom and insight. He prays deeply over the dream’s interpretation before it is given, and the mystery of the dream is revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night.

When Daniel stands before king Nebuchadnezzar to interpret the dream, he recounts the exact imagery that was given to the king in his dream and king Nebuchadnezzar is astounded. Here is the king’s response:

“Truly, your God is God of gods and Lord of kings, and a revealer of mysteries, for you have been able to reveal this mystery.” Then the king gave Daniel high honors and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon.

What we can learn from this story is that God can do wonderful and awesome things — revealing wisdom, insight, and knowledge that can only come directly from him. We see in Daniel a model for prayerful prophetic revelation.

We hope that reviewing these stories will give you confidence that God speaks to his people through visions and dreams and empower you to go deeper into your own testing of the dreams and visions God has given to you. We encourage you to keep a dream journal or write visions or dream pictures on note cards so you can return to them later to see if these visions or pictures have been fulfilled. Over time you may find that certain themes emerge in your visions, and God will use them to reveal future events to you or to give you insight that you ask for. Keep in mind that, just as with Joseph, dreams and visions can sometimes take years to be fulfilled but they often have deep meaning.

As there is so much richness in each of the above stories, we encourage you to read the referenced chapters for the full context. Also, stay tuned for our next blog where we will delve deeper into the gift of prophecy with guest blogger, Pam Bierwagen.

What the Bible has to say about mercy (part 1)

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | faith, forgiveness, grace, mercy

Mercy doesn’t seek to set the score even, to dominate or to control. It is a clean heart before the Lord stripped of judgments and resentments. Mercy is anchored in love, and anchored, mercy keeps us steadfast in moral character when the sea of unjust circumstances swirls wild around us.

Photo by Janko Ferlič

For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.
James 2:13

Eye for an eye?

In the iconic novel-turned-musical Les Misérables, Jean Valjean is released from prison after serving a 19 year sentence for stealing a loaf of bread. Seeking someone willing to host an ex-convict, Valjean knocks on the door of the Bishop of Digne, Myriel, who treats him kindly. Yet upon leaving, Valjean steals a silver candlestick. The police later find Valjean with the silver and report it to Myriel who insists the stolen silver was a gift.*

This scene in Les Misérables has always reminded me of Jesus’ words in Matthew Chapter 5:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matt. 5:38-42)

Jesus calls us to love radically even when love is unmerited, to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. We are called to love when our sense of justice tempts us to retaliate or to withdraw, and we have to place justice in God’s holy hands because we are not equipped to render it.

There are people in our lives who, given the opportunity, will abuse us and slap us when we turn the other cheek, and we will all face injustice at some point in our lives. A friend holds a grudge. A boss pushes too hard. A spouse hides an affair. It doesn’t feel just, and it isn’t. How do we show mercy when we have just cause to be angry?

Mercy, anchored

Mercy is the choice of compassion in a situation that could provoke anger or retaliation. Formally defined, it is “compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.” Mercy reaches beyond what seems logical into God’s heart to see that, just as he is a God of mercy, we choose to show mercy to others. Just like Myriel, we give away the stolen silver without despising the person who stole it. Just as God forgave us, we choose to forgive those who trespass against us.

Friends, before we go any deeper, we want to be clear that we do not condone staying in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship of any kind, and we don’t believe God calls us to stay in those situations either. Yet there are times in life that we will be persecuted or treated unjustly. In these circumstances, we are called to turn the other cheek. To go two miles with one who forces us to go a mile. To persevere over our physical weakness and persecution with grace and dignity of spirit so that God can mature our characters.

I think of the image of Jesus being mocked, maimed and spat upon during the crucifixion and his words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Matthew 27:27-31, Luke 23:34).

Jesus’ response to persecution is mercy anchored in pure love, and this is the model he gives us to live by.

Mercy doesn’t seek to set the score even, to dominate or to control. It is a clean heart before the Lord stripped of judgments and resentments. Mercy is anchored in love, and anchored, mercy keeps us steadfast in moral character when the sea of unjust circumstances swirls wild around us. At some point, we will all find ourselves in that sea.

Guys, this isn’t easy. Our human wills defy submission to authority and to things outside our control. It’s not fair when we’re asked to work on weekends. It’s not fair when we are pushed to pull an all-nighter or beyond our physical limitations; when we have medical conditions that limit our ability to work; when we are out of work or don’t have enough work; when pay is cut and we can’t pay rent; when we’re maxed out and can’t get enough sleep; when the choppy waters threaten to sink our meager ships. Our choice to stay anchored in mercy keeps us from wrongly responding to unjust circumstances.

Steadfast

The Bible is full of examples of anchored mercy and a strength of character that defies human understanding. Stories of perseverance and courage. The story of Nehemiah is one of my favorites.

Nehemiah, a holy man, was led by God to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem nearly 100 years after Jerusalem was conquered by Babylon and exiled. Rebuilding the wall takes place in 500 B.C.

As it is told in Nehemiah, the other peoples in the regions around Jerusalem (Horonite, Ammonite, Arab, Ashdodite) saw that Nehemiah and his team were rebuilding the city wall of Jerusalem and closing its breaches, and they became angry and plotted against Jerusalem (Nehemiah 4:7-9). God let Nehemiah in on the plot and Nehemiah’s response is supernatural.

Under Nehemiah’s leadership, laborers rebuilding the wall kept swords strapped to their sides as they worked, and they worked from dawn until the stars came out. They were guards by night and laborers by day, and everyone, including Nehemiah — from brothers to servants to guards — took on night watch with weapons at their sides (Nehemiah 4:21-23). Everyone was stretched beyond human capacity. The circumstances were not fair; they were supernatural. Supernatural challenges require supernatural wisdom and supernatural strength, and in that supernatural strength, the wall was rebuilt in just 52 days (Nehemiah 6:15-16).

The first time I read Nehemiah, uncharacteristically early for me on a weekday morning, I was on the verge of a breakdown. Facing the day ahead and anxious, I sat sprawled out on a blanket in my hallway, sobbing and swallowed by the choppy waters of injustice swirling around me — shipwrecked. Searching God for breath itself. I felt trapped, and my circumstances didn’t feel fair.

It dawned on me when I read about Nehemiah and his circumstances, tears streaming down my face, that following Jesus doesn’t mean my circumstances are going to be easy or just or fair. I could not control my unjust circumstances, but I could control my response to injustice. My supernatural circumstances and challenges required supernatural strength. The right response was to turn my cheek and to surrender justice to God, and I did. I chose mercy anchored in love that accepts a wrong without needing to repay wrong for wrong, or eye for an eye. Mercy that prays for my enemies and runs two miles when I was forced to run one. It was hard and right.

Friends, the enemy is dead set on destroying God’s plans to rebuild the broken perimeters of our lives and to restore our sunken ships.

To be steadfast, in the examples of Jesus and Nehemiah, we need to approach the inevitable unjust circumstances of our lives with supernatural wisdom, supernatural strength and mercy anchored in love. In the same way, we are called love and to pray for our enemies. Just as Jesus and Nehemiah did (Nehemiah 6:14).

God, give us the will to extend mercy when we have the opportunity to, and when the unjust circumstances of life are pressing in on us and we feel shipwrecked, Lord, catch and steady our hearts so that we can forgive our enemies and pray for them in the model you gave us for persecution. Remind us that you are there in the injustice and that you are using this season or circumstance to refine our characters.

Stay tuned for our next blog where we will look deeper at the connection between forgiveness, judgment, faith with works, mercy and the posture of our hearts.

*source: Les Mis background

Verses for study:

Matthew 5:38-45

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

Matthew 27:27-31

Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

Luke 23:34

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Nehemiah 4:7-9

But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry. They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it. But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.

Nehemiah 4:21-23

So we continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out. At that time I also said to the people, “Have every man and his helper stay inside Jerusalem at night, so they can serve us as guards by night and as workers by day.” Neither I nor my brothers nor my men nor the guards with me took off our clothes; each had his weapon, even when he went for water.

Nehemiah 6:14-16

Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, my God, because of what they have done; remember also the prophet Noadiah and how she and the rest of the prophets have been trying to intimidate me. So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days.

Do you feel lonely … while waiting?

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | contentment, loneliness, singleness, waiting

While waiting for changes to happen, I went through my share of mistakes such as emotional ups and downs, the typical “sport dating” for the sake of not feeling lonely, and so on, realizing that not only that doesn’t work, but it also brings more frustration and a whole lot of wasted time that can not ever be recovered. The common mistake I see over and over is that most of us confuse the word waiting with inaction.

Photo by Eli DeFaria

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Matthew 28:20

As a single person, there are times when finding someone to talk to about the feeling of loneliness is hard. Family members may repeat the simplistic advice to “stay positive or faithful and things will naturally take a turn”… and friends, well, they may even avoid listening to your sad mumbling since they have their own baggage to deal with.

I’ve noticed a trend that pushes people (especially women) to have a “chin up” mentality or to dismiss the hurt that Christian singles can feel in their loneliness, which I think makes the situation far worse for us. Now not only do we have fewer channels of communicating openly, but we are also pressured to put on a happy face and tough attitude to the outside world.

While waiting for changes to happen, I went through my share of mistakes such as emotional ups and downs, the typical “sport dating” for the sake of not feeling lonely, and so on, realizing that not only that doesn’t work, but it also brings more frustration and a whole lot of wasted time that can not ever be recovered.

The common mistake I see over and over is that most of us confuse the word waiting with inaction!

Let me start by stating this: waiting is a verb… a call for action! Especially if you are a believer… it sounds contradictory but let me explain.

If you are waiting for a partner, because you’d like to have a happy relationship, you must learn and know at the core your intrinsic value as a person; the reasons why you want a partner; and master emotional control (which can take years of personal growth).

If you are waiting for a business opportunity or aiming for professional success, you must detect what skills you possess that are valuable to the world and how to increase your chances of making your dream happen?

Does that sound like a static season to you? … No!

Waiting is about internally growing, expanding, increasing… and that does not happen with inaction.

So, back to the real question… how to manage not to feel lonely during this period of waiting?

And before I answer that, let me tell you a little about myself. I was not born in the U.S. and my entire family lives in a different country; I am a single mom that shares 50% of custody, and I work independently for myself. Even though I am a social person by nature, I am by myself 80% of the time, maybe even more with our dear pandemic, and it is very rare that I feel lonely.

Funny thing is that 8 years ago when I was still living in my home country, I was a part of a very happy relationship, I was surrounded by lifetime friends, a lovely family and I had a good job, but in moments of stillness, I would get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness…

What I found out is that we experience loneliness when we feel that we are not being seen — when we “feel” unimportant and we start relying on others or outside circumstances to make us happy.

What is the remedy to this? Can you guess? By going through the active process of waiting! By growing and making yourself valuable to others, through sharpening your skills and teaching others how to do so; through talking about your mistakes and experiences and helping others to overcome struggles; by practicing open-handed giving; by surrendering to your creator and as a proof of your love to Him, loving others and yourself INSANELY well.

Because my friends, this so-called waiting period is your everyday life, and God has given us this one life to do the most for yourself and for everyone around you. He is the only one who will be with you every step of the way — always and until the end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

May God inspire you to take action in your waiting for all good things!
Marina

Marina Da Re
MBA Anderson University
Business Owner.

On marriage, women & Ephesians 5:22-33

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | divorce, marriage, sacrifice, submission

As a culture, we have overemphasized the negative connotation of submission, while missing the central message of Ephesians 5:22-33. A husband is called to lay down his life for his wife, and a wife is appointed to serve her husband as if serving the Lord. The marriage covenant only works in mutual submission and sacrifice, and the two roles cannot be separated.

Photo by freestocks

The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:18

Submission

God led us to write a series about divorce, and inevitably, divorce touches the covenant of marriage. What does a Godly marriage look like, and how do we know if a marriage is healthy?

We are looking to the Bible for answers, and we’re going to set the record straight about a passage that is far too often used as justification to devalue women in the church when in fact that couldn’t be further from God’s heart. Let’s take a look at Ephesians 5:22-33:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This passage may be familiar to some women who were told they should submit to their husbands in everything, and that they could not preach or lead or otherwise not have the same standing in society as men.

Other times, the passage may be wrongly used as a defense and a justification for the husband to command his wife into submission. This is a distortion, an abuse of scripture and a disgrace to the marriage covenant.

Ephesians 5:22-33 is a framework for marriage, and the marriage covenant above all is a model for Christ’s love for the church. Let’s break it down.

Ephesians 5:22 states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord,” and a few verses later we read, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

This verse is followed by, “In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it.”

The passage not only clearly states that a husband should love his wife as he loves himself, but also that he should give himself up for his wife, just as Christ laid down his life for the church. We cannot miss this.

God is saying that, in marriage, a husband is to be as Christ to the church, and his love should be sacrificial. In complement, a wife is to be as the church to Christ, and her love should be as if in service to the Lord, pure and devoted.

The Greek word for “submit” in Ephesians 5 is hypotássō which means, “under God’s arrangement” or “I put myself into subjection.” And according to Strong’s Greek, the root verb, tássō, was primarily a military term meaning “to draw up in order, arrange in place, assign, appoint, or order.”

I’d like to call particular attention to the verb “appoint” because in this context, it implies appointment to a significant post as in submission to the Lord. While a wife is appointed to serve and to respect her husband, this is a voluntary submission. A wife serves her husband in devotion and respect, but she also goes to battle at his side.

As a culture, we have overemphasized the negative connotation of submission, while missing the central message of Ephesians 5:22-33. A husband is called to lay down his life for his wife, and a wife is appointed to serve her husband as if serving the Lord. The marriage covenant only works in mutual submission and sacrifice, and the two roles cannot be separated.

And this is where we hit the nail on the head. God never intended for women to be less than men.

Ezer

In the beginning God created Adam and Eve, and God made Eve to be a “helpmate” to Adam. Eve was never under Adam. She was created to walk beside him, to help him and to complement him.

The root verb of helpmate is ezer, which means, “to help”. God himself is described many times in the Psalms and the Prophets of the Old Testament as ezer, both as God our helper and as God-warrior. The choice of the word helpmate or ezer kenegdo for woman in Genesis 2:18 shows us that God sees women as strong and powerful — as warriors.

Equally valued by God as men, women are created with different roles and strengths, and the two sexes are complimentary in one-fleshness. As Paul says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

When we look to Christ and the church as the model for the marriage covenant, we are pointed towards service. Jesus came to serve and not to be served. He healed the sick. He fed the hungry. He washed the disciples’ feet. He laid down his life for us in the garden of Gethsemane. He became less so the Father would become more.

Just as Christ and the church, in marriage, both the man and woman are called to lay down their lives in sacrificial love and submission to one another.

A husband who does not love his wife as himself fails to uphold the marriage covenant. A husband who will not give himself up for his wife fails to uphold the marriage covenant.

A wife who does not voluntarily submit to or serve her husband in pure devotion as if serving the Lord fails to uphold the marriage covenant. A wife who does not respect her husband also fails to uphold the marriage covenant.

Sacrifice and submission. Love and respect. A marriage cannot thrive without mutuality.

Heart check

So.. how’s your marriage? Wives, are you serving your husbands as if serving the Lord? Husbands, are you giving up your lives for your wives as Christ did for the church? The marriage covenant was made for mutual love and respect.

Some of you may find yourselves in a marriage wherein the marriage covenant is simply not honored. This is a challenging place to be; in these circumstances, we grieve for you and with you, and truly, we don’t have all the answers. Here we simply aim to clarify the standard for marriage that God has established, and we know we are all going to fall short. But what matters is this: is your spouse doing the work of sacrifice or the work of submission? Is God at the center of your marriage? Husbands, do you love your wives as yourselves? Wives, do you respect your husbands?

We understand that marriage is hard. Harder than anyone ever told us it would be. Sometimes, for reasons we may not understand, husbands cannot give up their lives for their wives. And sometimes, wives cannot submit to their husbands. The Bible is clear about the roles of sacrifice and submission, and if these roles are not mutually held or broken, then we believe the marriage covenant is broken, too. Can God heal a broken covenant? We believe with our whole hearts that he can heal impossibly broken marriages, yet sometimes he does not.

We also believe the Bible is clear that God condemns emotional, physical and spiritual abuse within the marriage covenant and in these circumstances, that God permits divorce. Sometimes, marriages cannot be saved and it is not God’s plan to save them. God heart breaks with yours if you find yourself in a broken marriage covenant. We cannot tell you what is right for you in this circumstance. We simply aim to present a clear picture of the scriptures and God’s heart.

Women, by all standards Biblically, you are equal to men, and you are appointed to submit and to serve your husbands as if serving the Lord.

Men, you are called to a sacrificial love that can only be understood in the person of Jesus Christ, and you are called to love your wives as your own flesh.

Insomuch as it is possible, what God has joined together, let not man separate (Matt. 19:6).

Verses for study:

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet (ezer kenegdo) for him.

Genesis 2:18, KJV

Our soul waiteth for the LORD: he is our help (ezer) and our shield.

Psalm 33:20

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help (ezer), whose hope is in the LORD his God:

Psalm 146:5

The message > the mess

by three strands | Apr 16, 2026 | contentment, living water, love, relationship

Photo by Frank Albrecht

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
John 4:10

In this video, we return to John 4 and the story of the woman at the well where Jesus very deliberately chooses a Samaritan woman to speak to about living water. While we can get hung up on the sin of the woman who has had five husbands, what is important here is that Jesus chose her for this precious message. She then asks for the living water. Jesus is saying that what we thirst for, the love we chase, can only be found in him. Watch to hear more.