You will not find genuine without authenticity. But genuine is further characterized by the absence of disingenuousness and insincerity. Genuine is a matter of character and a matter of the heart.
Photo by Imani Bahati
Mixed motives twist life into tangles; pure motives take you straight down the road.
Proverbs 21:8
Heart check
What does it mean to be truly genuine and how is a genuine spirit different from an authentic spirit?
I’ll be honest, this is the topic God gave me to write about this week, and I’m kinda wrestling him about it. I know what I’m supposed to say; I just don’t want to write it. This is going to require a new level of vulnerable and exposed that I’m uncomfortable with, but here goes!
We’ve talked on 3 Strands about guarding our hearts because they are the wellspring of life. We’ve also talked about how much God cares about our hearts and about keeping a right heart posture. Yet, despite our sincerest efforts, our hearts can become vulnerable to sin, ugly and corrupt. We can excuse all kinds of less than righteous behaviors.
Here are some noteworthy things the Bible has to say about the heart:
+ In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. (Prov. 16:9)
+ Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. (Prov. 4:23)
+ A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. (Prov. 14:30)
+ But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. (Matt. 15:18-19)
+ The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jer. 17:9)
+ You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Matt. 12:34)
Are you noticing a trend? Our hearts can run wild with evil intentions and mixed motives if we are not careful to keep them in check because sin originates in the heart.
Here’s the part where I get really vulnerable. You guys, I have had the worst heart. My motives have been unclear – and worse – hidden. I have hurt people. I have convinced myself I was justified in manipulating and hurting someone who violated me because of how they hurt me. I lied about talking to, and nearly cheating with, another guy when I was in a serious relationship, albeit unhealthy. No excuses. Even though nothing happened, I misled the person I was dating. GROSS. This was in college, mind you, but it is a part of my life I’m not proud of.
When I started my first job out of college, can you even guess? Yes, more manipulation. I figured out I could push people to get things done faster and use brash language to accelerate projects. I excused myself in the name of efficiency, but really, you guys, my heart was ugly. I was winning at any cost short of cheating, which I didn’t do. But my approach certainly wasn’t above board and my heart was a mess.
Lastly – the kicker – withholding pieces of my truest self from people I have loved dearly, including my ex-husband. Getting married, I wasn’t honest about some of the deepest desires of my heart because I was still defining them. Maybe that’s an honest mistake that many young people make. But looking back, I sincerely regret not fully finding a truly authentic expression of myself before walking down the aisle. I was insincere, and I was disingenuous.
Being afraid of being our truest selves is like not living. It is going through the motions and pretending.
Genuine, even though it is often used interchangeably with authentic, is in fact different from authenticity. Genuine according to a formal definition means that someone is free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy. It means that we show up with all parts of ourselves without mixed motives or deceit. There is no falsehood in genuine, and it cuts right to our characters.
Authenticity is ideally always found with pure character and intention, but by definition it is focused far more on knowing who we are at our core and expressing that version of ourselves to the world than it is about our characters. You will not find genuine without authenticity. But genuine is further characterized by the absence of disingenuousness and insincerity. Genuine is a matter of character and a matter of the heart.
So… how’s your heart? Are you above board or if someone looked would they find pretense, affectation, falsehood or hypocrisy?
Friends, we have ALL been disingenuous at some time or another, but we have a choice, today and every day, to live differently – to live a little better, to live a little more genuinely.
We may have hurt others and hurt ourselves, but we can be assured that the Father loves us and we are forgiven. His mercies are new every morning.
I’ll close with a charge from Hebrews.
Hebrews 10:22 – Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.
Amen.
Lord, help us to receive your mercies that are new every morning, and the water and the blood that have made us clean. We have hurt others and hurt ourselves, but you died so we could enter your presence cleansed of all sin. Help us to guard our hearts that can run wild and astray. Help us to keep our motives clear and pure, without deceit or the intent to deceive. We confess that we are flawed human beings in need of your grace and we need your help to keep our hearts in check, righteous and genuine.